So, here I am at home with the parents in Guwahati. The phone, not surprisingly, has been out of order for a while. Finally today, I hear a shrill noise that shocks me out of my reverie. Apparently, it’s the phone ringing. Once I’ve confirmed the instrument is actually working, I log on to the net and lo and behold I actually manage to get myself online.
Which brings me to the story about how I got here. On my last fleeting visit with friends in tow, I had received a threat (and not a veiled one either) that I was on the verge of being ex-communicated from the family due to utter insensivity. Which in plain terms means that I haven’t spent any time in the last few years and I should get myself here before I am completely erased from all the family albums. So this year, one of my resolutions was to keep aside a few days of my holiday to come and visit the folks.
Anyway, coming back to Guwahati — I am rather surprised how fast it has grown into a buzzing city. Unfortunately, the buzz also comes at a price — bad roads, horrendous traffic and the seemingly endless conversations over tea about how Assamese society is going to the dogs (or the gutter, if you can find one around). Sigh.
Added to my woes is the constant rant of my mom’s pet peeve — the single and apparently happy status of my sister and I. For some reason, she cannot seem to comprehend this fact. For her, happiness equates to husband, kids and house (not necessarily in that order either). And so what if most people around who have all or part of that equation, don’t seem to be either happy or very satisfied either. For her, either you’re a) married and unhappy, b) married and happy but under no circumstances can you be c) single and happy. And the million dollar questions in her mind are a) Who will take care of you in your old age? b) Why are we running after money if we have no one (read: kids) to spend it on?
Hmm… How does one even start to argue against these kind of statements. Age old thinking has sunk in too deep t0 make a difference now. To say things have changed today and one needs to adapt, in front of her, is like saying “here, please chop off my leg, thank you.”
Putting it mildly, she does not take it well.
In between, this however, I have managed to tuck in some Bihu delicacies, the lovely fish tenga, bora saul (with cream and yoghurt) topped with jaggery, watched a rather lively Bihu function and also snuck in a few round of social visits.
Unfortunately, though I am actually becoming rather paranoid about putting things in my mouth. Wherever I’ve gone the refrain has been: “How have you put on sooo much weight?” at the same time pushing forward a plate of sweets and snacks. The Assamese are not one to mince their words as you can see.
It’s a weighty issue of course, because the answer is not an easy one. Or something that they would really care to hear about. But say it, they must. Not a word about how healthy, happy and well I look. (At least I’d like to think so :-).
Being over-weight is like a curse here. People look at you like you have the plague. Or maybe worse. I feel like a Sumo wrestler already. Let me quickly get myself a snack before my next post…
OOh, looks like you are having a great time. Pack a few Bihu delicacies and bring them over — don’t stuff yourself with it all.
As for putting on weight etc, you look lovely the way you are girl. So just give them your beautiful smile and move on.
As for being single and happy, can’t you see this is precisely why we want you to marry — so you are not so happy, fancy free and foot loose. hehehehe
Posted by Usha | April 16, 2008, 6:11 pmGood to know you are spending some quality time with family :) Enjoy your time there.
About mom’s perception of happiness, you are damn right, gurl :-) It is difficult to get them to see a point in being single and happy :-))
And you are nowhere close to ‘fat’ !!! Eat away to glory :)
Posted by Mridula | April 16, 2008, 7:58 pmAnita:
you brought back to me the same sentiments I shared when I was single. I remember having similar conversations verging on quarrels with my folks and couldnt possibly succeed in helping them see my point of view. and guess what their worries never cease. and after you marry, they will get after you to have kids.…it is never-ending;-)
happy bihu to you and your family…gosh i miss the pithas and of course bora saaul, is my all time favorite.
Enjoy your stay with your family..
Guwahati has really changed over the years but you are right, the basic infrastructure is still lacking.
s
Posted by Sukanya Bora | April 16, 2008, 11:05 pmHeyy! Good to know y’re online again. LOL yeah moms will be moms. and the nagging never stops. it’s always something else once one condition is fullfilled :) going home is bittersweet that way innit?
Happy Belated Bihu to you. will chat you on chat (hopefully)
Posted by Aqua | April 17, 2008, 8:07 amI’m going to Guwahati for the first time in May. Pretty excited about it.
Posted by Banno | April 17, 2008, 4:04 pm@ Usha: No Bihu delicacies for you. I thought you were under a diet ;) And thank you — I am glad some people appreciate me plump and happy (and single ;-)
@ Mridula: You’re right. I guess I should just stop trying :)
@ Sukanya: you’re so right. if it’s not that, then there will be something else! i guess they need something to keep them occupied and worried all the time! and not to worry, i shall tuck in some bora saul for you also!
@ Aqua: just about! it’s a slow dial up connection but it’s better than nothing! thank you and will catch you sometime hopefully!
@ Banno: that’s nice to know! hope you have a great time here!
Posted by Anita | April 17, 2008, 9:32 pmI hear you sistah! Sigh. :)
Posted by Nitya | April 19, 2008, 8:55 amWe would like you to write for our products on regular basis. Please email me the details.
Posted by seema | April 22, 2008, 3:38 pmHad been to Guwahati recently though din’t get to see much of the city itself .…it was a diff experience with so many AR personnel around.But got to see the bihu dance which was nice.
As for staying single and happy ..nothng can be better than tht .…but yea mom’s are mom’s and added to that are relatives and friends but i guess we just have to live with it and i enjoy it just like u :)
Posted by Anjali | April 23, 2008, 12:40 pmI like the new Banner !!! Looks great !
Posted by SIL | April 25, 2008, 2:45 am@ nitya: :)
@ anjali: yeah, thankfully it’s once in a year that i get subjected to this. on the phone the impact is far lesser :)
@ sil: thanks! :)
Posted by Anita | April 25, 2008, 6:34 am