Don’t you just hate those smart alecky types who sit right behind you and pass crappy comments all through the movie? Like you paid 100 bucks to hear their inane and totally stupid commentary.

At one point of time, I was nearly tempted to turn around and scream, ‘Cut the crap, guys’. I mean, I can understand if they were watching some time-pass comedy. But this was totally uncalled for. And it wasn’t even for a few minutes. These guys actually kept it up through the whole movie. I could have strangled them by the end of it.

Why do moronic guys like these go to watch movies? They can just as well sit on the side of the street and pass comments and they wouldn’t even have to spend any money doing it.

I was all excited about watching LOTR: The Return of the King and these stupid dodos nearly spoilt the fun of watching the last of the trilogy. First, we wait for two whole months for it to come to India, and then a few creepy adolescents decide that they’re actually funny. Arrrrggghhhh…

Anyway, if you haven’t watched the first two parts of LOTR, then this one might not make much sense. I remember taking a friend of mine to watch LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring. The poor woman was so clueless, she almost walked out. And not to mention, she was also pregnant!

For a three-part movie spread over about 11 hours, Peter Jackson does a commendable job by keeping up the pace and excitement of the first two in the third. It’s a little slow to build up, but once it takes off, there’s no stopping it!

Watch out for some amazing action. Especially the battle scenes. And the scenery continues to be as breathtaking as ever. New Zealand is definitely on my travel list after LOTR! Some moments to watch out for:

• Gollum talking to his shadow in the water and letting it out that he intends to betray Frodo once he gets to a pre-determined spot. Sam overhears. But Frodo doesn’t believe Gollum has evil intentions.

• Gandalf riding up Minas Tirth with Pippin to confront Denethor (steward of Gondor). The aerial view of the structure. Simply awesome.
• Pippin lighting a beacon at Minas Tirth on Gandalf’s request, that spreads across the icy mountains. Some lovely shots. I am not sure how much is computer generated, but lovely, neverthless.
• Legolas climbing an elephant during the war and bringing everyone down including the beast and then disembarking it in style.
• Denethor catching fire when he tries to burn his own son alive and fails. He then falls from the bridge of Minas Tirth.
• Aragorn, Legolas, Gandalf completely surrounded by Sauron’s army. Aragorn charges saying, ‘This one’s for Frodo.’
• Sam and Frodo battling the ugly giant spider Shelob when ascending the stairs at Cirith Ungol. Shelob tying up Frodo in his yucky stuff. Truly yucky!
• And the very end, when Frodo reaches Mount Doom where he has to cast the ring into the fire…but…

The only hitch is at the end when there are quite a few false alarms. It seemed like the movie’s ended and then one realises there’s one more scene. The last one was really not needed. Not sure what Peter Jackson was thinking, but obviously, after spending the last three or four years making LOTR, he was really not keen on letting go!

But, all in all, a fitting end to the trilogy. I am sure even Tolkien would have applauded if he’d had a chance to watch his own imagination come alive on the screen.

Other movies I watched this week: Just Married (just about okay, but it has its moments), Rules Pyar Ka Superhit Formula (quite watchable and there was Milind Soman who is pretty droolworthy) and Down With Love (not too hot, but I can watch anything with Ewan McGregor!).