Humour, Living, Personal
comments 15

Terms of Endearment

So an old aquaintance from my Mumbai days called when I was browsing through books at Oxford today after my nth ankle therapy session at Manipal.

He’s coming to Bangalore and wants to meet me for dinner. I might be travelling out I tell him. He can’t believe his luck! It’s about the 4th time he’s going to miss me.

G is an odd guy : he’s a farmer (!) with lots of money (somewhere in remote Tamil Nadu) but he also works as a journalist because that’s his passion. He also falls in (platonic) love with (almost) every single pretty (and not so pretty) face he meets. He’s also happily married. How you can love several women (again platonically) at the same time, I have no clue! I haven’t understood how the man works as yet.

I would get really irritated with him because he would sign off any conversation saying, “I love you. Take care.” I used to think that only very special people should say that to you! Even being rude didn’t seem to affect him much.

Now, older and wiser I no longer question his motives. I’ve learnt to accept that people are strange, weird and endearments come from the strangest quarters. And not always from the ones you expect them from! Some people say things so easily and casually, while some are so miserly with their words of love and affection that it’s almost like waiting in the desert for a drop of rain.

He, in the meanwhile, still hasn’t lost that habit : despite his advancing years. Anita, I love selflessly without any motive, he says.

You know, I tell him, in the four years here, I haven’t heard those words often! I can’t believe it, he says. But it’s true, I insist. But you’re such a nice girl, he says. Ah, when did being nice ever get you anywhere, I ask wisely.

Of all the pretty women I’ve met, you’re the prettiest, he says. (Okay, that is obviously something he says to everyone :-).

“I love you,” he says as I end the conversation. Gosh, I think. I must be getting old since I am no longer offended at those words. I no longer get worked up or annoyed. Or have I become more indifferent to it? Or is it because as the years go by – I need more love, affection, nice words and TLC? Do people become more maudlin and sentimental as age catches up? I have no idea!

I mean I don’t even know G that well : he just keeps popping up now and then on my cellphone to tell me he’s coming to Bangalore.

Or maybe… maybe, it’s just been a really long while since I’ve heard those words!


  1. Nice one again from you!!! By the way why dont you meet him this time. Missing the same guys four times might give him an impression that you are ignoring him. This is what i feel, no offence meant!!

  2. That was an intensely private post making its way to the Web I must say. Well, as for this person, such intense words uttered casually only means that he either does not understand the gravity of the words or he thinks they are good to go for flirting. Either way, he needs more education. Sorry for being judgemental. :))

  3. :-), I have a couple of acquaintances, who do more or less the same and refuse to take a clear message. In fact I am amazed at the similarity of the whole thing.

    Having a fictitious boyfriend and throwing his name here and there has often helped me…:-)

  4. i am all time fan of your writing anita, another nice post frm u and Anita i am still waiting to get my blog in your blogroll :-(, pls add me. http;//

  5. @ Vikram: thanks! you think? :0) hehe.

    @ Avinash: Not really sure. Cause, I think flirting would be with a purpose. He doesn’t have any purpose! He’s really harmless actually 🙂

    @ Anuradha: hehe, no – that doesn’t help either! but i’m okay now. as a said, i’ve grown older and more tolerant of everything, i think!

    @ Rohit: thanks! and i’ll get to it sometime soon!

  6. Well, be happy there are ppl out there in the world to say such nice things like they love u and ask you to take care!
    The world today is so void of any true feelings., and if someone wishes you with no wrong intentions, then its truly nice 🙂
    I wish i knew a Miss G!!!!

  7. Anjali says

    I so completely agree with u Anita …. I have just not been able to undersatnd them either… like to agree with wht Arvind says in the last comment …. but again just can’t differentiate….

  8. @ arvind: haha, i like the way you put it 🙂

    @ anjali: well, what he makes sense to me. sometimes you just know that there are no “wrong” intentions!

  9. Interesting post Anita. I specially enjoyed the way your reaction has changed to the same words 😀

  10. hi anita i have written about so many people. you are the first person who has written about me. thanks. and when i say i love u i mean it. u need a large heart to love many people.

  11. A touching little anecdote, with an even more touching comment from G(?)! In my humble and limited experience, there are few people around who genuinely have such big heart and outwardly and openly loving to many. It is not surprising that warming to it comes with time. For they are the voice of consistency during a backdrop of time when often tumultuous ups and downs are experienced.
    All the best to you Anita!

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