So, I was just packing up to leave yoga class, when my instructor brandishes a sheet of paper in front of me.
â€œWhat is this?â€ I ask.
He just pushes it into my hand without answering.
On the top, it reads, Kareena Kapoor’s diet.
I read it twice and then look at him with a questioning expression.
â€œHow long have you been doing yoga,â€ he asks.
â€œErmmâ€¦. Aboutâ€¦ 6-7 months,â€ I answer hesitantly, not liking where this is heading.
â€œAnd how much weight have you lost?â€
â€œErmmâ€¦ a little.â€
Actually, around 3 kilos, which is a lot in my book, but due to my already substantial weight, it doesn’t show. So there!
Kareena apparently has lost weight doing the same brand of yoga as I have. For some undecipherable reason, she’s achieved size zero and I’m stuck somewhere at sizeâ€¦ 12?
He looks at me with what I thought was some amount of disbelief.
â€œYou need to lose weight, Anita.â€
â€œUhhhâ€¦ but why? I am totally happy. I do not want to be like Kareena Kapoor! I have no desire to look like her!â€
Besides, I can’t get Saif, so I can’t be bothered.
Okay, I didn’t actually say that but you see the point.
Kareena has a career to build, a brand new boyfriend on her arm, designer clothes she needs to fit into and a lime green bikini she needs to parade.
Me – I have no such lofty (or lowly) aspirations. My career doesn’t require it; the boyfriend is more like a mirage (I think he exists more in my imagination than in actual life) and I can’t afford designer clothes. So what do I care about size zero?
In my defense, I didn’t even know such a size existed. It’s not one I usually veer towards when shopping for clothes. Even my arm won’t go into a size zero outfit.
Anyway, my point is that I am extremely miffed at all this pressure that Kareena has put on the young (and not so young) women of today.
Granted, she’s really worked hard to get (down to) where she is. And I admire her greatly.
Every young girl now wants to be size zero. Even at the cost of their health. And by skipping meals and following really unhealthy diets. And not everyone has the resources to get to where Kareena has in the â€œright wayâ€ as she put it : with a personal trainer and a personal dietician to help her achieve her near anorexic look.
Personally, I much preferred the wholesome look but who cares about me. Where did healthy and curvy go? I was happy with Hema, and Dimple and Rani and Mads. When did this obsession with super thin happen?
And I’m also really happy where I am. Of course, I am all for a healthy lifestyle and I do everything within my means : running, yoga, eating properly (indulging once in a while!) – to maintain one reasonably well. But Kareena! She’s introduced a whole new dimension to being healthy all together.
Even my yoga instructor now thinks I am not doing enough to lose weight.
“And you can do it,” he declares confidently. No oil, no carbs, no sweet, no sugar : basically everything I eat ordinarily is out. One measly chappati for lunch (you’ve got to be kidding me!) and no carbs for dinner. Just soup and salad.
Ye gads! Even if I do manage to get down to size zero I’m definitely going to be a very â€œunhappy and mopeyâ€ looking size zero.
No, I think. I wouldn’t really take so much effort. Not even for the lime green bikini. Or Saif, for that matter.
My poor yoga instructor will just have to live with me. And my size… not so zero.