And… another one bites the dust!

March 18th, 2009  |  Published in India, Living, Photography  |  43 Comments

“But let there be spaces in your togeth­er­ness and let the winds of the heav­ens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a mov­ing sea between the shores of your souls.” ~~ Kahlil Gibran

Ever since I’ve known R : she wanted to find the man of her dreams and get mar­ried. I’ve rarely met some­one with that objec­tive so clear in their mind! I remem­ber watch­ing the movie “Life in a Metro” and telling R how much Konkona’s char­ac­ter reminded me of her. 

Over the years and our “sin­gle­hood”, R and I have had many dis­cus­sions on find­ing “the right man”. One ques­tion she often had was how she would know for sure when he came along! How does one know, really? Much air­time has been wasted (or not) in dis­cussing the lack of good men (really, where are the guys?!) and the fact that our good years were slowly fad­ing away.

I mostly enjoyed play­ing an elder sis­terly role and (in my infi­nite wis­dom!) usu­ally tried to impart, what I hope, was good advice. You will know, when you meet him, I said. Things will fall into place. When the stars align every­thing will work out! And so on and so forth. Through our heart­breaks and set­backs, I often told her that things that are des­tined to hap­pen, will hap­pen and surely they would hap­pen to her too. Very soon. “You can’t rush things,” I said, they will hap­pen when the time is right. Even my con­cerned dad took us to the famous Naba­graha tem­ple in Guwa­hati while on a trip there and got our futures read to assure both of us that good things were in store. 

Over the years, despite all my out­ward reas­sur­ances, I must admit that my own belief in love and romance, the insti­tu­tion of mar­riage, in hap­pily wed­ded has received quite a knock­ing. Much as I would like to “believe” I have also seen so many signs to the con­trary, result­ing in cyn­i­cism creep­ing in and the rose coloured spec­ta­cles I wore when I was younger get­ting clouded. From being let down, from expec­ta­tions not being met (and what is life with­out some expec­ta­tion?) and from a lot of dis­con­nect. Do I expect too much or are peo­ple just not inter­ested? :-p

I would, of course, like to believe in love and romance, in find­ing “the one”, but it’s dif­fi­cult to muster that blind faith any­more. When I was eigh­teen and starry eyed, yes. But older and wiser, as they say, and things don’t quite seem the same. 

So despite it all, it gives me small plea­sure that even­tu­ally R did meet the man of her dreams and tied the knot. While I watched — some­times in admi­ra­tion and some­times in fas­ci­na­tion at how fast things can move in some­one else’s life (at least com­pared to mine!), I was thrilled to see R&A’s rela­tion­ship develop, mature and go straight to the altar! 

I for one, am so glad that R is finally hitched. At least that way we will now be spared of her exis­ten­tial ques­tions (and mul­ti­ple smses) like, “why not me?”, “where is the man I am sup­posed to marry?” and “when will I ever meet him?” and “why am I the unlucky one?’ These kind of ques­tions, as you can imag­ine, are quite hard to answer ;-p 

Through these years, R never gave up hope though. She went about her mis­sion with admirable enthu­si­asm despite the many road­blocks! I think one thing I admire her for is her sin­gle minded focus about what she wanted. And maybe that worked in the end. She did find the man and she did make every­one includ­ing her­self happy by tying the knot. 

Mean­while, I still won­der some­times about life and love and its related com­pli­ca­tions. Though my mom often com­plains con­stantly about the “sin­gle sta­tus” of both her daugh­ters, I jok­ingly ask her “why change what is work­ing fine?” I try and con­vince her that at least we’re happy. But I real­ize that her goal is not our hap­pi­ness, but of chang­ing our status. 

I still remain unsure about mar­riage and wed­ded bliss. (Or it might be for the sim­ple rea­son that no one’s actu­ally asked :-). Have I been on my own for too long now and got­ten too used to it? What I do miss though is some­one being an intrin­sic part of my life and shar­ing and doing things together. And that is a part­ner­ship that is so much harder to achieve. 

But a friend’s wed­ding always makes me happy. It’s a time for cel­e­bra­tions, for love, laugh­ter and friends to get together. And to rein­force some of those faded beliefs. 

For R&A, wish­ing both of them loads and loads of hap­pi­ness and good times together. 

R — the sin­gles club will miss you! :-)

A : we’ll be there when you need a shoul­der to cry on :-p

Spouse: some­one who’ll stand by you through all the trou­ble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed sin­gle. ~Author Unknown

Responses

1. sajith says:
   

   March 18th, 2009 at 1:57 pm (#)

   You know what Google ads says here on the top?

   “You Can Find Your Life Part­ner in Next 10 Min­utes. Search-Chat Today!”

   ;-)

2. Anonymous says:
   

   March 18th, 2009 at 3:20 pm (#)

   Mom Blogs — Blogs for Moms

3. wishesgalore says:
   

   March 18th, 2009 at 4:27 pm (#)

   i have been read­ing your blog for quite some time..and since i have started my own web-space, you have been blog-rolled:))

   This was such a sweet post and thought-provoking for peo­ple like me with sta­tus set to S..:))i some­times feel that right man is not the one who is ‘right’ by your stan­drads but right man is the one who come at the right time!! Tim­ing matters…

4. Yuva says:
   

   March 18th, 2009 at 4:32 pm (#)

   I hear you… We human are designed to want love n to be loved. I have ‘any­where but here’/‘why me’.. friend too. I hope the best for her. but I won­der why & what trig­gers– ‘thank god thatz not me’ to ‘why not me’… 

   »“my mom often com­plains con­stantly about the “sin­gle sta­tus” of both her daugh­ters, I jok­ingly ask her “why change what is work­ing fine?” I try and con­vince her that at least we’re happy. But I real­ize that her goal is not our hap­pi­ness, but of chang­ing our status.”

5. Yuva says:
   

   March 18th, 2009 at 4:32 pm (#)

   def­i­n­i­tion of hap­pi­ness is sub­jec­tive, changes with time and prob­lem is– years from now you might judge your hap­pi­ness dif­fer­ently (with dif­fer­ent scale) and might arrive at dif­fer­ent con­clu­sion. and may be mom is fore­see­ing yet-to-come-mood-change.!! (thatz my the­ory.. ignore it ofcourse))

   my woo & boo.. of Sin­gle­hood..
   http://theperfect1.blogspot.com/2006/12/woo-for-singlehood.html
   http://theperfect1.blogspot.com/2007/01/boo-from-singlehood-part-2.html

6. Sukanya Bora says:
   

   March 18th, 2009 at 6:17 pm (#)

   dont worry..anita…listen to your own wisdom,the wis­dom you parted to your friend. if you want it to hap­pen, it will hap­pen, some­day. i know it can be very frus­trat­ing when you have every­one else around you ques­tion your ‘sin­gle sta­tus’ but hang in there.
   the pic­tures, as usual are beautiful..i love the col­ors. con­grat­u­la­tions to your friend and hubby. may they find mar­i­tal bliss!
   i gotta tellya..although i wor­ried if i will ever find any­one, i enjoyed my sin­gle sta­tus thor­oughly and didnt quite want to let it go in the fear of los­ing every­thing ..but now that i am mar­ried and am a mom, its beautiful…its still fun but of a dif­fer­ent kind. i dont miss sin­gle­hood at all. take care..

7. Sushanth says:
   

   March 18th, 2009 at 7:21 pm (#)

   Accord­ing to me no is per­fect and there is noth­ing called THE RIGHT MAN …or THE PERFECT WIFE.… its all about both (man & woman) to make life per­fect ! ..rather than look­ing at each other whether ur per­fect or whether ur the right man or woman for me …!
   Luv, con­fi­dence and trust con­sti­tute a per­fect blend of happy mar­raige …
   In a coun­try of more than a bil­lion peo­ple its a waste to look in for the right man or the per­fect woman …

8. Radman says:
   

   March 18th, 2009 at 9:58 pm (#)

   AB, won­der­ful quote. At this stage of my life, that quote describes my feel­ings and sus­pi­cions to a tee. I need spac­ing. To con­tinue with your quoted author’s metaphor, it is like the moon’s effect on the tides of the oceans. The tide rolls in and out, but there is a con­stancy and depend­abil­ity to tides.

9. Ekta Jhaveri says:
   

   March 18th, 2009 at 11:48 pm (#)

   Hi Anita,

   I’ve been one of your ‘silent readers’…atleast for the past 4–5 years now. I’ve really really enjoyed read­ing your posts, esp the trav­el­ogues and the pic­tures. Your post on R’s mar­riage was beau­ti­ful too. I envy your sin­gle life some­times:) Please con­tinue to write (more often) and good luck in all your endeavors. 

   –Ekta

10. kunjootty says:
    

    March 19th, 2009 at 11:13 am (#)

    Your posts are always from a diff per­spec­tive and i love them!! and when gng thru these snaps i felt these snaps con­veyed just that!!
    The impor­tance of the rit­u­als and actions that we all go thru dur­ing mar­riages have been brought out really well, which the pro­fes­sional wed­ding pho­tog­ra­phers never ever seem to be able to bring out :-)
    Btw, regard­ing mar­riages i always feel that in todays con­text, stay­ing mar­ried is much more dif­fi­cult than get­ting mar­ried! and gng thru peo­ple with a fine comb and find­ing mr.right is bet­ter than set­tling for just any­body and learn­ing to forgo things!! it just saves a lot of sad­ness, heavy hearts and dis­il­lu­sion­ment about the mat­ri­mo­nial system!!

11. Paavani says:
    

    March 19th, 2009 at 10:41 pm (#)

    Im also like R, Who waited and got the mr Right :)
    Its more like meet­ing the right per­son at right time. I am sure he too will meet you :)

12. Shalini says:
    

    March 19th, 2009 at 11:10 pm (#)

    hi, i read your blogs and this is one has writ­ten feels very real, from the heart…beautifully written…

    i believe in relationships/ love an the works but as for find­ing mr right/ a true com­pan­ion i totally agree..its worth a wait and there is one that spe­cial per­son for all…i just believe in that…

    once again..beautifully writ­ten and yeah the pics are SPECTACULAR

13. Anita says:
    

    March 19th, 2009 at 11:32 pm (#)

    @ sajith: hehe, des­per­ate times calls for des­per­ate measures :-)

    @ wish­es­ga­lore: hey thanks! will drop by!

    tim­ing is every­thing, ay? :-) ah well, i guess i will just have to wait and see! 

    @ Yuva: i guess that is an innate desire that is hard to ignore :-) but mom is just being her­self — a mom! 

    @ Sukanya: yes, yes, don’t worry. if not any­thing, i will have a lot of white hair after impart­ing all my wis­dom :0) not really frus­trated, in fact some­times i enjoy sin­gle­hood a lit­tle too much and i won­der if the other side of the coin is worth explor­ing at all! but of course, each stage should be enjoyed for its advan­tages. the rest is upto fate and des­tiny and what­ever will be will be i guess!

    @ Sushanth: totally agree with that! it’s mak­ing it per­fect, rather than hop­ing the per­son is perfect!

    @ Rad­man: thank you, though it’s not mine ;-) am glad it was appre­ci­ated though!

    @ Ekta: wow, you broke your silence after 4–5 years?!! i am honoured! 

    and thank you for your wishes!

    @ kun­jootty: is that your real name? ;-p thanks, glad you liked the pics!

    and you’re right about stay­ing mar­ried as the hard part, that is so true in today’s times!

    @ Paa­vani: good things hap­pen to those who wait? :-) some­times the wait gets quite long though! but i am glad you met him :-) and thanks for the wishes ;-)

    @ Shalini: thanks! and i think that’s totally the right atti­tude to have. though i do have my doubts once in a while, i try and remain opti­mistic never the less!

14. lostonthestreet says:
    

    March 20th, 2009 at 11:56 pm (#)

    Hi Anita
    Sent you a mail on anitabora@yahoo.com.Hope you check that mail id.Thanks

15. Indscribe says:
    

    March 21st, 2009 at 3:31 pm (#)

    Enchant­ing post. Some find the right per­son and marry. Oth­ers marry and then find love and are truly happy.

    It’s all luck, I guess. Aah…We fatal­ist Indi­ans. Ulti­mately what hap­pens is per­sonal sat­is­fac­tion and inner happiness…

16. V says:
    

    March 21st, 2009 at 6:59 pm (#)

    Trust me, the grass is always greener on the other side. I firmly believed that only a very good friend of mine can be my spouse and even­tu­ally some­thing like this mate­ri­al­ized. I am not crib­bing about mar­ried life as such, not that it has restricted my life style in any man­ner but I still yearn for my sin­gle life. 

    So take life as it comes, I agree there would be pres­sure from e’one around. But you know best what is good for you.

17. Mukta says:
    

    March 22nd, 2009 at 12:11 pm (#)

    Wow! That was a heart-warming post. I must say though that some of those exis­ten­tial ques­tions have been plagu­ing me too :-)

18. Anita says:
    

    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:57 pm (#)

    @ loston­thestreet: will do! have been a lit­tle tied up lately!

    @ Ind­scribe: “Oth­ers marry and then find love and are truly happy.” — it’s always amaz­ing and almost unbe­liev­able when this happens! 

    luck… well, i guess it has its part to play :-)

    @ V: well said! i am a true believer in tak­ing life as it comes :-)

    @ Mukta: thank you dear :-) i think those ques­tions will haunt us for a long time to come!

19. Nidarshana says:
    

    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:52 pm (#)

    Your post made me go some two years back in time when I was search­ing for the “one” and would not quite admit it. On one hand the sim­plic­ity of sin­gle­hood grows on you and you don’t want to get out of that com­fort zone. On the other, there’s this human crav­ing for com­pany — per­haps a best friend. But I have con­cluded — one should not tie the knot just coz one has to, to escape lone­li­ness or ma-buggings.
    Shar­ing your space with the wrong per­son can be HELL. Bet­ter late.…
    And Mr. Right exists! I wish you all the best!
    Take care
    P.S. I scrapped you on Orkut. Wanted to talk to you for a story on pets.

20. Anita says:
    

    March 24th, 2009 at 6:31 pm (#)

    @ nidar­shana: i’ve never per­son­ally believed in “the one” so there’s no ques­tion of search­ing for this elu­sive per­son… i am just hop­ing that “right” doesn’t hap­pen too late in life, when i am down and out, that’s all!! though it’s hardly within my con­trol finally. what­ever is meant to be, will be! 

    i don’t really use orkut. do drop in a mail instead. anitab­ora at yahoo dot com.

21. raahul says:
    

    March 25th, 2009 at 2:45 am (#)

    Uphold­ing your sin­gle sta­tus after a cer­tain age in Indian soci­ety is a daunt­ing task, espe­cially if you are a woman.……
    I know coz I have female friends who are sin­gle and on the wrong side of 30.…
    every­body seems to be more inter­ested in know­ing when you are going to “set­tle down”.…..
    I am not yet 28, but I am already begin­ning to get inquiries from friends and fam­ily about my plans for putting an end to my sin­gle­hood :p
    and I liked what Nidar­shana said — shar­ing your space with the wrong per­son can be hell :).…..
    My best wishes for you Anita.……
    Thor­oughly enjoyed ur post!!!

22. Anuradha says:
    

    March 26th, 2009 at 2:07 pm (#)

    I could have been the R in your story, in fact it almost felt you wrote about me…but I learnt one les­son in life few years back and that is ’ I am respon­si­ble for my own hap­pi­ness’ irre­spec­tive of any­thing and any­one. While you are sin­gle enjoy the envy of those who do not have inde­pen­dence like you and once you find your part­ner, you will enter into the mat­ri­mony with a life well lived behind you and hence with a con­fi­dence to lead at least sim­i­lar life if not better.

23. Rekha says:
    

    March 27th, 2009 at 12:22 pm (#)

    hey Anita..been fol­low­ing your blog since some­time..
    I am 28 yr old spin­ster who looked high and low in this city…but also was scared of changes that couple-dom would bring in. I met a chap and he is nice and everything…very lov­ing and try­ing his best…What I want to share is that…I am long­ing for that days where I was sin­gle and carefree…well most of the time…I had my free­dom and nobody to ask…relationships are difficult..esp to sus­tain them…I am fight­ing all the time to keep the flame burning…its drain­ing some­times.
    so…enjoy your time…truly and awe­some time I say! Men will come and go..

24. Lubna says:
    

    March 27th, 2009 at 1:26 pm (#)

    Hi
    You picked up a beau­ti­ful quote. As every­one has echoed — the bot­tom line — lies in hap­pi­ness — whether alone or as a cou­ple.
    Happy Ugadi.

25. Uday says:
    

    March 27th, 2009 at 3:58 pm (#)

    Another lurker (for years now!)is flushed out. Your best post ever — and that is say­ing some­thing. I guess I’m lucky. Met my wife at Uni 35 years ago and in Dec our daugh­ter got mar­ried to her (Eng­lish) boyfriend in India in the same joint fam­ily house and gar­den that we got mar­ried in 30 years ago.

    I hope she has a happy mar­riage — she says she is inspired by her par­ents mar­riage — but who knows! The best thing in my life is hav­ing met my wife and know­ing that there is some­one I can be com­pletely open with.

    Our daugh­ter knows mar­riages need work­ing on — we’ve been through very dif­fi­cult times and, from a very young age, she has seen us try­ing to work things through — mainly by talk­ing but some­times with tantrums and anger.

    I’m orig­i­nally from Ban­ga­lore so I love read­ing your blog — keep going and I am sure you will find some­one to share your life with and I wish you all the best though it may mean we’ll see less of you on the blog?

26. Arjun Prabhu says:
    

    March 28th, 2009 at 7:48 am (#)

    tic tic tic tic

27. anita says:
    

    March 28th, 2009 at 9:16 pm (#)

    @ raahul: yes, it does get chal­leng­ing some­times but i think it’s more well accepted than ear­lier and that’s progress :-)

    and thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

    @ Anu­radha: i guess the story would ring a bell with a lot of folks! and i think every phase in life is to be enjoyed so i am deter­mined to do that :-)

    @ Rekha: nice of you to leave a com­ment :-) rela­tion­ships def­i­nitely need a lot of hard work, that is true! and it has to be worth it, else one doesn’t really feel like putting in any effort.

    @ Lubna: thank you! and same to you :-) and you’re absolutely true. single/married/in between — one should be happy where one is!

    @ Uday: thank you for crawl­ing out of the wood­works. glad that one of my posts made you do that! 35 years ago — a big con­grat­u­la­tions from me — i am sure that takes a lot of work and effort. i won­der some­times how much kids are affected by what they see in their own par­ents when they are grow­ing up and to what extent their views about mar­riage and rela­tion­ships are shaped by it. i am sure that would be an inter­est­ing insight but if your daugh­ter is inspired, then it’s say­ing a lot! and i am glad you enjoy read­ing my blog… but i don’t think that assump­tion is cor­rect :-) i don’t think i’ll go away in a hurry! 

    @ Arjun: ahem, i hope that doesn’t mean time is tick­ing away for me? :-)

28. Thejesh GN says:
    

    March 28th, 2009 at 9:43 pm (#)

    Awe­some pics.…

29. Rhapsody says:
    

    March 29th, 2009 at 7:48 am (#)

    I’m glad that I landed on your blog. It is inter­est­ing.
    As far as this post is con­cerened, I must tell you that I can really relate with it– your opin­ion & thoughts on this :)
    It was almost like read­ing my own mind :)

30. Manasa says:
    

    March 30th, 2009 at 11:51 pm (#)

    My mom says, its par­ents now and spouse in future who always sup­port till end.
    When my mom was ill for a month, dad served her self­lessly than I could. I think, its spouse who takes care till the end; nei­ther friends nor chil­dren. Just my two cents.

31. kunjootty says:
    

    March 31st, 2009 at 1:39 pm (#)

    nope! kun­jootty is just my pet­name and the name of my blog. I have already added you on twit­ter if u remem­ber :-) http://twitter.com/anusrikumar

32. Ravi says:
    

    April 6th, 2009 at 10:15 pm (#)

    Re: ” …mean­while, I still won­der some­times about life and love and its related com­pli­ca­tions.” Since ‘mar­riage’ is excluded in that line, you have no idea how much trou­ble you actu­ally have avoided. Enjoy your sin­gle life! ;)

33. Anonymous says:
    

    April 8th, 2009 at 12:32 pm (#)

    Well said. I used to a bit of R and a bit of you. I yearned for the right man and I loved my sin­gle sta­tus. On the one hand, I longed to be cared for deeply and went to every party hop­ing to meet “the” guy. On the other hand, pur­ple women were hold­ing on to their toads think­ing that a sin­gle woman was des­per­ate enough to be out to get their toads. I had got so used to meet­ing dis­ap­point­ments in my life that I stopped car­ing. I went ahead and met them head­long. And sud­denly, one worked. I was sur­prised. I didn’t mean for all this to hap­pen. I dreamed of it but never planned it. I did won­der about it with girl­friends who got tired of answer­ing. But there it goes…like you said…when the stars align themselves… :-)

34. manu says:
    

    April 14th, 2009 at 10:13 am (#)

    Hi Anita

    I felt the same about R and her sim­i­lar­ity with konkana herself…WOW.…and about the blog,its won­der­fully put across…i really enjoyed it.

35. Maddy says:
    

    April 14th, 2009 at 7:12 pm (#)

    I too am a part of the Sin­gles club and I do won­der why I am still sin­gle! I could relate myself to your descrip­tion of R to quite an extent :D and I believe there will be a ‘happy end­ing’ for me and for all the rest of us in the club.
    I can’t really spec­ify what I’m look­ing for but I know I want to look some more. The sparks, the chem­istry, the com­fort — how can I give up on all of that and just set­tle? Am I ask­ing for too much? Or am I heav­ily influ­enced by the movies and just want it to be per­fect? I think some­where deep down I am still eigh­teen and starry eyed and I have a feel­ing, maybe even you are :)

    Loved read­ing the post!

36. Anjali says:
    

    April 15th, 2009 at 6:04 pm (#)

    I so some­times won­der just like you…
    Is there really some­one!
    Or am i so used to being sin­gle that i’m not sure if i want to explore the other side..
    Then again i still want to share my life with tht spe­cial someone..If i ever find one..
    Heart Breaks are so painful that i don’t know if i really would want to give myself a sec­ond chance .……Why is life so con­fus­ing ?Why me is always a ques­tions that i have wanted an answer for and never found..Move on they say …There is hope they say…You will find some­one they say…Everything hap­pens with time they say .…

    Will it ever !!!!!! :)

37. anita says:
    

    April 17th, 2009 at 9:57 am (#)

    @thej: thanks!

    @Rhapsody: thanks! and nice to know you related to it!

    @Manasa: yes, true. but it only works if the spouses have built that kind of a rela­tion­ship over the years. in many cases, that doesn’t hap­pen either.

    @ kun­jootty: okay! :-)

    @ Ravi: thanks! it’s good to know that. but where have you dis­ap­peared? you mar­ried peo­ple never have any time I think! 

    @ Anony­mous: :-) yeah, when the stars align i guess! 

    @ manu: thanks! 

    @ Maddy: so it’s not out of choice, i assume? :-)
    i am not sure about “happy end­ings” but i am sure that things will hap­pen when the time is right. the sparks will fly! one can have hope at least :-) and it’s some­thing to look for­ward to. starry eyed, not any­more. but yes, hope… i will live in eter­nal hope!! 

    @ Anjali: it will, it will! heart­breaks are painful but i think they are one of those nec­es­sary evils in life :-)

38. Ujjwala says:
    

    April 21st, 2009 at 10:30 pm (#)

    Hi, Enjoyed read­ing your blog and those are some great pic­tures! There is noth­ing more mag­i­cal than attend­ing a wedding,especially if it is of a close friend, no mat­ter how much ur ideas have changed over the years, it makes u believe in love, fate & des­tiny all over again!

39. anita says:
    

    April 30th, 2009 at 10:55 am (#)

    @ Ujjwala : well said. it def­i­nitely does!

40. Shan says:
    

    May 3rd, 2009 at 10:24 am (#)

    Its a nice way of putting things Anita, in life noth­ing hap­pens until and unless we want it to hap­pen. Peo­ple do come to our life and love us, because we want that shoul­der to rest and shed the tears. We the sin­gles enjoy the sin­gle­hood, because there are some peo­ple pro­vid­ing us with resources to stay sin­gle, may be the kins or the friends or the job we love to do…imagine life with­out the thing you want most in your life, u must feel lonely, one needs to be very tough to face that.…

41. Subeer says:
    

    May 5th, 2009 at 10:51 am (#)

    On your ques­tion “where are the guys”? I would like to pose a ques­tion in return. Why is it that in the most pop­u­lous con­try in the world with a remark­ably high num­ber of young peo­ple on top of a male skewed gen­der ratio do we not have ‘suit­able boys’? 

    I hear this often, and mostly let it pass but as u seem like the reflec­tive sort, I thought you may find it inter­est­ing to delibrate. 

    Pass­ing thought;
    “There is only one thing that makes a dream impos­si­ble to achieve: the fear of fail­ure.” — David Deida

42. Vamsee says:
    

    May 12th, 2009 at 4:21 pm (#)

    Anita,
    I have been a silent reader of your blog and love it. 

    This is a great post and I love your col­or­ful pictures. 

    I sin­cerely believe that you should make the most of what life throws at you. If you are sin­gle, then embrace it.…take advan­tage of your inde­pen­dence and go out and try every­thing you want to with­out stop­ping yourself.Become the envy of all your mar­ried friends. Become an Anita Bora.…who trav­els, runs, bikes and has fun!!
    As for the per­fect man.….it will be eas­ier for him to find you when you are hav­ing fun and being happy!

43. Sonal says:
    

    June 2nd, 2009 at 11:26 am (#)

    Hi Anita
    I have recently started read­ing your blog and love your style and the nat­ural flow your writ­ing has.
    I liked this entry for the dif­fer­ent angles that it has exposed and this topic sits open for dis­cus­sion for ever and ever and ever.… :)

    I think its all about the atti­tude towards life. About want­ing to be happy and spread the hap­pi­ness. Single/Married..does that really mat­ter? I am mar­ried with a 1.5 yr old baby. Its lovely. I was happy when I was sin­gle too. I think every stage of the life has its own beauty and grace. Noth­ing is per­fect and want­ing to make every­thing per­fect only makes one unhappy. word like mar­i­tal bliss, made for each other etc. are for books not for real life. After a point all these super­fi­cial things fade and what remains is the core…a com­pan­ion­ship, a friend­ship. If thats healthy enough life seems beau­ti­ful. I am lucky to have mar­ried my best friend who fol­lows a prin­ci­ple ‘live and let live..’ and give me a lot of space.
    Sonal

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