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The Sentimental Post

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon’s sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We’ll take the trail marked on your father’s map

– Lyrics from Kiss me, Sixpence None the Richer

Swamped with work the last few days, and listening to one of my favourite Sixpence songs, I need to take a break and clear my senses. Sometimes I get sentimental. Only sometimes, but this is one of those times and therefore the uncharacteristic post.

It has been a while since I’ve taken a moment to think about the year gone by. Sometimes, I look at life whizzing past me and I know that I should slow down and take a moment to rest. Meditate. Think. Reflect. And do all those serious things 🙂

What a year it’s been. Like a roller-coaster ride, up and down and up and down again. And yet, the downs never reached the depths it did back around September of 2003.

When I left my job. When I decided to take a break. When I decided that I’d had enough. That I’d been too patient for years and years. That I wasn’t living my life the way I wanted to. That I needed to change some things or else get swallowed in the depths of despair that I’d probably never have the strength to get out of.

When, every moment, I questioned what I’d done wrong.

And then one day I decided to tear away. From a city I’d spent 6 years in. From the familiar faces and sights. And begin life anew. A fresh lease of life as they say. I was unsure, I was a little apprehensive. Despite it all, I was optimistic too.

And what a year it’s been. Landing up in a strange city where I knew just 2 people was difficult. A city, that people scared me about saying, it was so different from Mumbai that I would hate it. Thankfully, what people said didn’t apply to me.

I look around now at all the beautiful people in my life today and I know I have to thank each one of them. All you bright, talented, generous, lovely, sweet, loving, adorable, inspiring (I could go on with the adjectives!) people who make me want to be better and to try harder. You know who all of you are. Bloggers, photographers, classmates (in French class), travel bugs (or those I’ve met on my various escapades), badminton buddies, office mates, colleagues and everyone else I’ve bumped into in this short span of a year.

I have to be strong, I tell myself constantly. But hey, once in a while, in my weaker moments I do wallow in my sentiments. I allow myself to hope again, to feel thankful, to get teary-eyed, to feel loved and to feel blessed that I found life again.

And understand what Alanis Morisette was trying to say in her song, Thank You.

I think to the times that I despaired that I had lost it all. When I’d questioned what I’d done wrong.

And then today, standing at a totally different crossroad in my life, I feel that I must have done something right.

(Dedicated to all the people I’ve had the good fortune of meeting over the past year and who have [mostly unknowingly!] inspired me to become a stronger and happier person. Thank you).

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33 Comments

  1. Pleomorphous says

    Thank God for friends! And ‘Kiss Me’ is one of my favourite songs too.

  2. Wow. A very nice post. It happens.
    But great to have known you Anita. All the very best. Keep your posts coming. It is an inspiration for many a people 🙂

  3. shubs: thanks sweet gal 🙂

    shibs: *Hugs* to you too, lovely lady!

    sam: yeah, therefore the title 🙂

    pleo: friends, good food, music and movies. i think that’s all i need 🙂

    prabhu: thanks for the nice words!

  4. Awww! what a lovely post. wish you all the best and all the happiness your heart can hold …and a bit more!

  5. Sweet post, and an *awesome* picture… its out of the world! And yeah, it was wonderful knowing you..:)

  6. About a year ago, I was pretty much in the same situation. If not for some great people, I really haven’t a clue what I would have done !!!

    Lovely post and pic ! Where is that bench ?

  7. Thank ‘you’. Aunty. And, Kiss me is a nice song and a great line too. You have the right to be senti. Go ahead, blow your nose (on Venky preferably) and buy yourself a drink. Call me if you want to buy one for me. Hang loose baby.
    How can you tell a senti person from a pragmatist?
    “WHO CARES?” Mu haa haa 😉

  8. I love you Anita,
    You were always a strong woman and you shall always be one….
    There is really no real wrong or right… if it makes you happy it HAS to be right!

    Among all the strength a teary eyed weak day is also blessed moment… accept it…

    And you did so well… you have no idea how beautifully you’ve written… after a long long time i’ve read something that is so heartfelt.

    Love you,
    A big hug!
    Take care!

    Lavannya

  9. Yes, “thank ‘you’! Auntie.” Also, *hug*.
    And, Suman, if you don’t include me in that ceremony to dispose off all the remaining booze, I will make sure you get a huge-ish blob of the Very Best of AB’s S on you.

  10. Nupur: I know! Whatever came over me 😉

    Thanks Deki 🙂 So glad I met you last year. And your beautiful family. And Tara. What a total doll! Love you, babes!

    Adel: Get ready for my tears on your sleeves the next time 🙂

    Thanks Nithya 🙂 The feeling is mutual!

    Vignesh: Totally understand the feeling 🙂 The bench is actually at work but I have yet to sit on it. I’ve been meaning to, but strangely enough I’ve never seen anyone sitting on it!! I might still do it one of these days 🙂

    Suman: Thank you too, Uncle 🙂 You’re such a total doll (Chittu might disagree 😉 but I’m glad I met you and Chitra when I did! Love you guys! Shall look forward to 2, not 1, drinks!

    Lavannya dearie. I am quite a senti type person but I hide it well ;0) For social purposes! Hehe. But thanks for your words. One big hug and kiss for you 🙂 Love you too! Am really really happy for you for! Despite what I tease you about ;0) You’re also the only one who calls me a B***H!!

    Thanks Sudha!

    Venx, thank you 🙂 A big bear hug and loads of ‘louw’ back to you! For making me laugh. And for being yourself! You’re a doll! I still have to cry on your sleeves along with Suman’s.

    That’s a lot of loving folks! But thanks for all your nice words. It has truly made my day 🙂

  11. crossroads
    not a nice place to be left standing at…
    but life is funny road… it just leads from one to the other….
    sitting on the fence … standing at the crossroads…
    thats how i have spent past few years….
    in the words of jim morisson… wallowing in the mire….( in my words… when will i get higher..)
    ( if i had left the job then it would have been, when will i get hired)

    anyway.. u have inspired a lot of people … and i guess time to inspire urself again..

    guess all the words from the people would have done the trick already…. here are my twopence..

  12. Hey Anita,

    Read the post a bit late. Must say beautifully written and a truly heart touching emotions. U have really inspired many a people.

    Even I came exactly a year ago and even I came from Mumbai. Found it a little odd that the city used to be in dark by 9:30. Somethign very strange if u come from Mumbai but I really love this place now. May be the people or the weather or just the greenery has kept me here. Met friends of my lifetime here, thats what counts.

    Thanks, thanks a ton for this wonderful piece. Keep living!!!

  13. The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. 😉

    Thank you for all you’ve done for me.

  14. krishna: i think we all do at some point or another (ask all those questions, i mean!). and crossroads is not such a bad place to be. it’s rather interesting actually, because the turn you take will determine where you will head for the next few months or years 🙂

    prashanth: at work actually…

    thanks amit. that’s exactly what happened to me. either you love it or you hate it! and thankfully, i didn’t do the latter! there is only one thing i truly hate here and it is the traffic. if that could be solved, it would be such an awesome place!

  15. crab: thanks so much 🙂

    madman: thanks for everything you’ve done! including making me gain about 10 kgs after i’ve come to bangalore 🙂 but i think it’s better to be fat and happy than thin and paranoid, what say?!!

  16. well, well u do write well, i must acknowledge ur skills there!!!…but what i really admire is that u like traveling …just as i do…and u r(which is suppose ur)…limited by money just the way i am ….it was gr8 reading ur blogs…now u have another individual reading ur blogs regularly!!!

  17. Anita, I hope you know that you make life a much happier place for a lot of people! 🙂
    And I’ve always got a ready *HUG* to give you babes….. “NEVA” 😉 forget that!

  18. sarva says

    hi anita, quite a senti post..mm..since I am also in same crossroads right now, I can relate to that uncertainity factor quite well….u r an inspiring and strong person..All the best!..

    cheers
    Sarva

  19. JALS, A moment of weakness? I guess this is your “true self”. Correct me , if I am wrong.

    Hey, you talked about badminton.But, I have never seen any post on badminton. Should we expect one?

    ‘njoy your stay in b’lore

  20. Hmmm? And what about the people who have been inspired by you?
    🙂 It is only because of you, I have been able to meet so many bloggers and now, with Madman’s help I have just opened my *own* blog. 🙂

    Thanks a lot and good luck 🙂

  21. hey,

    The one thing I remember about you and your association is (apart from the India Today pic on bloggers) is the expression of my friend…

    “Vow!! Machan.. you know anita bora ? She is India’s number 1 blogger” … I just played it cool and said, “you know we are good friends”..

    senti binti sab choddhe re.. have fun and enzoy life…

    vasu

  22. Naju says

    Hey Anita,

    Very nice reading ur blogs…awesome photos. Always knew n said that u had that special gift when it came to putting pen to paper, thoughts to words. Keep the words flowing. Really admire and quietly take pride in all that u have achieved since good old days…take care.

    Naju

  23. purush: thanks for the nice words 🙂

    kris: no reason! just like that 🙂

    thanks nandish!

    vaish: thanks babes! you’re the best wonly. *HUGS* 🙂

    thanks sarva!

    venky: another side of me, i guess 😉 thanks for reminding me. i shall write about my love for badminton sometime!

    aditya: good to see you getting your own domain and welcome!

    vaz: trying to do just that ya 🙂

    naju: where did you pop up from? thanks so much for dropping by. do write and let me know what’s up and what you’re upto. tried to keep in touch, but lost your trail somewhere in delhi. are you there again? will email… 🙂

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